With each passing night early morning spent not sleeping, but rather holding a football shaped creature that enjoys spewing his midnight snack on my shirt (I must say that it is amazing how precise the aim of an infant truly is. I can be wearing a robe made out of burp cloth, and he will still find the one spot where he can hit my clothes.), I realize more and more the wisdom of that great 21st century philosopher who opined, “I now know why young people have kids”. This little dude is making me feel all of my over halfway to 70 years.
I used to could pull 48 hour runs on no sleep, and without the use of any chemical enhancement. Those days are long gone. Now all I can think of is when my next nap will be. Oh well, I will exact my revenge later. I have already complied collections of pictures and stories for Cole and Logan that are entitled “Prom Date Pictures.” I plan on showing them to each of their respective prom dates on the big night. That will show them…keeping me up past my bedtime.
I am pleased to report that Oliver has learned to use his legs in a more directed fashion. He can now maneuver his legs out of the Kid-O-Potamus (Kid-O-Potamus is the most amazing invention since Bacon. It is a blanket device that is used by idiot dads who are unable to perform the complex swaddle fold). Of course he soon realizes that his feet are now cold, and he then proceeds to make me realize it.
In other news, the crusty clump of dried human matter has fallen off of his belly, and I am pleased to announce the presence of an innie (by the way, this is a gross thing that we leave on the children. Either medicine or evolution really needs to figure out a way to not have the dried end of the umbilical cord just sitting there for two weeks.).
**Please note that the following is a paid advertisement** Did you love the food at the last party that you went to? Do you wish that you could have amazingly prepared food delivered to you door? Do you love when announcers ask you multiple questions? If so, then I would like to direct you to the company who is yet to be named, formed, or created. With one simple click of the mouse, you will be able to order high end catered food for your family, and have it delivered to you door. Please stay tuned for the creation of the company that will do this. Thank you and God Bless America.
[And we’re back in 5….4…(hand signal 3)…(hand signal 2)…(hand signal 1)…(hand motion pointing at me]
In sports news, Cole starts football today. Relax, it is only flag football. Although I did tell him that if it is second and one, he should lay into someone and take the penalty. Tactics, I tell him….tactics. I hate that I am going to miss watching him play for the next few weeks, but when I go on my baby daddy leave next month, I will get to watch him then.
Yesterday the older boys sat down and started on their birthday wish lists. If you are interested, please check back later as we are in the process of editing Logan’s down to only include the realistic things (a butterfly flying over a flower was one entry) that have playing value for me. Until that time comes, please raise your glasses and toast the California Baker family, the sweetest smelling of all the Bakers in California.
Follow Jim Baker's blog, now called California Bakers, here.