How to Handle Any Holiday Dilemma

For some, the holiday season is a time of cheer, shopping and humming along to seasonal songs. 

For others, it evokes anxiety, dreaded commitments and endless shopping. 

If you are in the second category, perhaps you should consider changing your ritual. 

Start a new tradition. 

You can go away, stop in to pay your respects to the family for a limited time, give to a charity instead of buying gifts. If you must buy, consider giving everyone a calendar, some thank-you notes or a similar one-size-fits-all type gift. There are many things you can do to survive the holidays. Find what works for you. 

Unfortunately, holiday dilemmas are here to stay. But, by adjusting our attitudes, conducting ourselves in a respectful and courteous manner, the holidays can be fabulous—or at least tolerable. 

Here are a couple of common holiday dilemmas and possible solutions.

Dilemma #1: As a teacher, sometimes I receive gifts that I cannot use or are similar in style. I am blessed to be showered with so many gifts during the holidays. I just can't keep them all. Is it acceptable to re-gift or should I donate them to charity?

Etiquette approach: Re-gifting has a negative feel. It is a gift that you don't want. So why do you think anyone else would? If you decide to re-purpose an unwanted gift, please be sure:

• to unwrap it and re-wrap it
• to remove all tags
• that it's in the original package and in excellent condition
• to make a note as to who gave it to you (One year, I received the same gift I had given the teacher a year earlier. How did I know? The tag was still in the bag.)
• to give the gift to someone who will enjoy it—not for the sake of getting rid of it
• to consider saving it for a white elephant party
• to consider donating it

Dilemma #2: Last year a co-worker gave me a gift and I had nothing for her. It was awkward and I didn't know what to do. In anticipation, should I be prepared to give her something this year?

Etiquette approach:  Most people give without expecting anything in return except for a cheerful "thanks." Perhaps she was grateful to you for helping her out with a project and this was her way of expressing her gratitude. 

Regardless of her intention, you are not obligated to pay in kind. That is the case with anyone.  When you receive an unexpected gift, do not insult the thoughtful person with an endless diatribe ("Your gift hasn't arrived yet," "I forgot it on my dining room table," or "My dog destroyed it last night."). Accept the gift graciously, thank them for their thoughtfulness and wish them a fabulous holiday. You may consider following up by sending a brief note of thanks. 

I recommend you check the office policy on gift-giving. 

If you have any holiday dilemmas, please send me a note. 

Rosalinda Oropeza Randall is an etiquette consultant who owns Your Relationship Edge in which she teaches classes and presents workshops to a variety of audiences. She can be reached at rosalinda@yourrelationshipedge.com and her website is www.yourrelationshipedge.com. She can also be reached on Facebook.